Life Story Tips: Organize Your Materials
How should I organize my stories?
Most people think they must tell their story in chronological order: birth, childhood, adolescence, adult, middle age, old age. That is fine, but there are other interesting ways, too.
You might organize around "first." Write about your first day of school, first love, first day of college, first bike, first car, first job, first home of your own, first horseback ride. Make a list of several firsts in your life and write a page or two about each one.
Or you could organize around the idea of "several." Write about all the houses in which you have lived or the variety of jobs you have had.
Sometimes women say, "Oh, I never worked." Of course, you did. Write about managing a household in days before television or home freezers or air conditioning or supermarkets. Haven't you marveled at tales of life in "the old days" when the settlers crossed the country? Someday our everyday life now and even ten years past will be "the old days" to our younger family members.
You could choose general themes such as home, education, church, family. Just remember, specific details make your story interesting.
How can I keep track of all the important dates I want to include?
Create a timeline. It will help you remember events and put them in order. Add to it and refer to it as you write. To make your timeline, simply draw a horizontal line on a big sheet of paper. If you don't have any really big paper, tape several regular-size pieces together or make several parallel horizontal lines on one sheet of paper. Leave plenty of room for notes. At the left end of the line, write your birth date. At the right end of the line, write the current year. Then begin filling in with actual or approximate dates of important events in your life. You might include any graduations, marriage, births, deaths, major life changes, and relocations. At first, don't worry about exact dates or events. In addition to person events, you might want to include historical events or social events of the times. As you write, more things will come to mind. Look up details as you have the time and interest. The following two websites are fun to browse for exact dates and to refresh your general memory about any specific or general date in history: www.dmarie.com/timecap and www.thehistorychannel.com.
Both my husband and I want to write our stories. Is there a way our stories can be combined in one book?
This is a great idea, and there are several possible ways to do it.
You could divide the book into three sections. One section would be your husband's life up until the time you married, another section would be of your own life until the time you married, and the third section would combine your stories after your marriage. Different fonts or different colored ink could be used to indicate who is "speaking."
Or, you could each have alternating chapters in which you write about the same periods or topics of your life. For example, your husband could write about his early childhood, and then you would write about your early childhood. Again, font type or ink color can indicate whose story is being told.
A third method would be to have one person be the principle storyteller. The secondary storyteller could "chime in," in a different font or ink color, with added detail or commentary.
Two lives joined. Two stories joined. A wonderful gift to yourself and family.
I'm having trouble with transitions. How do I get from one part of my story to the next part—or from one story to the next?
You won't believe the first part of my answer: don't worry about it. If you are writing a series of stories or chapters, when one ends and the next begins, your reader will naturally follow along. Never underestimate the intelligence of your reader. Think about movies. The action moves from one scene to the next with little if any transition. When the scene changes, we, the audience, know to follow along. You can give the reader help by mentioning the passage of time, your age, the changing season, your relationships or your location.
Or, you can give the reader a visual clue. You can start a new chapter, use a new heading or subheading or you can simply insert extra space between the paragraphs. Sometimes this extra space is accompanied by an extra visual notice such as ***.
If you really, really, really think you need something more—try being your own writing coach. Ask yourself: Why do you think you need a transition here? Tell me about what you are transitioning from and transitioning to? Listen to your answer or write your answer. Often when I ask writers these questions, their answer is just the transition that is needed. I simply say: What you just told me is the perfect transition. Write that.
Three methods. Give them a try.
In writing my story, I am writing about people in my life. Sometimes their stories come up more than once. For example, I plan to write about my mother-in-law. Then I want to write about my son. Part of my son's story includes my mother-in-law's story. Should I repeat her whole?
One of the fun things about life story writing is that there are no absolutes. So, it isn't possible to know ahead of time how these two stories will work out. I have developed a term for this because I have been guilty of it so many times myself. I call it pre-worrying: being immobilized by trying to control the future.
Some things just can't be figured out ahead of time. Write both stories. Can they include different details? Can one part of the story contain more detail? Can your mother-in-law's story be summarized when you get to your son's story?
If you were learning to water ski, you wouldn't just sit on the dock and wonder how far forward or backward you should lean or whether to grip the tow rope overhand or underhand. You would just hop into the water and give different methods a try. Same with writing. Try one thing; try another. It may take time, but eventually your pen will be skiing across the paper.
My grandmother lives in another state. I will be visiting her this summer, but I think intense interviewing would be uncomfortable for both of us. Yet, I would like to know her life story. What can I do?
We can thank, Deb, a member of the Lenexa Life Story Group for this answer. When Deb was visiting her grandmother, she gave her a small notebook, about 7 inches by 9 inches. The exact size doesn't matter, but it is important that it be smaller than 8.5 inches by 11 inches. Periodically, (I think it was every week.) Deb sent her grandmother one question, such as What was your favorite part of school? Or, What did you do for fun when you were in high school? Or, How was life different before, during, and after World War II? Her grandmother wrote her answers in the notebook, using one or two pages. Later (Maybe it was a year. Choose your own time.), the grandmother returned the notebook, Deb photocopied the pages onto a variety of pretty colored patterned paper, making enough copies for family members, and had the pages spiral bound.
It made a pretty book which we enjoyed passing around in the life story group to see the story and to get ideas. A couple of tips: Deb's grandmother had clear, legible writing so the pages did not need to be transcribed or typed. Also, all that color copying of pages can get expensive. Deb found a sale for copies twenty-nine cents each.
To create the questions, just think of questions you would like to ask. As an alternative, there are a variety of books of questions available. Or look online for idea starters.
Thanks, Deb, for showing us another fun way to capture life story.